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It was an ugly kind of romance. It was the type of romance that caused you to skip a chapter in a book, or cringe while fast forwarding an entire scene. Sometimes you'd watch it when you were alone, though, just to remember things, right? You'd flip through the best scenes with the monologue of six-handed swordsman, and all the trickery and deceit. You missed all the best parts of things, and, quite frankly, I didn't blame you.

I suppose the sun was still up, I'm not sure what you'd rather think, but I was still safe and bathing in the daylight when he called. He left a message for you, and I wrote it down and on your mirror above the faucet, I left it there. I can recall that day so perfectly, like it was a mere hour ago. I know you don't like to remember the subtle things, but, any day you'd like to, you should know you're welcome to.  I love you just that much. And I thought you'd be able to see that this was the same ugly beginning where we all came from.

I remember being tired. And sick. I remember being highly strung; not wanting things to move or change. I didn't believe in things that could bend or break. I thought I was higher than the world, and you remember it, don't you? Don't you remember us throwing things across the room at one another, each of us crying and cursing at the sky. Yeah, funny things were us. But after that night you'd always tell me that nothing could be bent or broken, and that everything just is.

And I am crying, knowing that I will not get to scream and shout and make up with you anymore. There won't be mother-and-daughter photos from my year eleven debutante, or my high school graduation; it only happens once. I know that from tomorrow, my memory of you will fade. And we know that from tomorrow, that there will be no beginning as great as ours. There will never be the same tears; of laughter and of pain.

Didn't you once tell me that a way to get somewhere was based on the pure will to? You would say "to be somewhere, you have to believe you can get there. You have to have the will to." well now I'm doing more than that; I'm praying and I'm hoping and I'm wishing for you to take the plastic circles off your own wrists, pull the clip off your finger; brush your hair back into it's lazy, beautiful way that it would sit.

And I know today you will always be the walking contradiction; the opposing side to your own self.

And I miss you, mum.
road trip thoughts,

this is entirely fiction, just for clarification.
NeuzaKC Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
It's so beautifully sad, it is. The love is there, but there's also a lot of anger in between the lines. What a wonderful job. (:
Amylwa Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
yeah, i tried to put a bit of everything in there, because, it was all that i could really think to do, instead of focusing on planning how it sounded. if that makes sense, :P and thanks, lovely, (:
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Submitted on
January 7, 2011
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